Proving That Equality IS Possible In My Lifetime…

equality lasersSo today is an epic day! And finally an appropriate occasion to correctly use the terms “epic” and “amazing.”  I am in a psychadelic state of joyful shock and technicolor bliss! Actually its kind of overcast and depressing outside but I will not let that get me down people!! NO SIR-EE BOB!

Though we may have many more steps to go until full equality, and thousands, millions more people who will no doubt still be in need- a human rights activist’s work is never done- women and same sex couples were given acknowledgement today, that they had rights.


Finally, DOMA was ruled unconstitutional in California this morning and it was acknowledged that same sex couples deserved rights to benefits that male/female couples already enjoy. Anthony Romero of the American Civil Liberties Union said that they will continue to fight on a state level. The ACLU will continue to proposition amendment by amendment until “gay” same sex marriage is completely legal.

And on a more local and equally personal note, Senator Wendy Davis went to battle against David Dewhurst to protect women’s right to their bodies in staying a bill to nearly outlaw abortion.  The bill, known as SB 5, would ban abortions after 20 weeks and mandate that doctors have hospital admitting privileges, among other things. Davis’s marathon filibuster filed on Tuesday created a rousing amount of support and “chaos” for the republican bill so that time ran out on Wednesday before it could be passed. “An unruly mob, using Occupy Wall Street tactics, disrupted the Senate from protecting unborn babies,” Dewhurst said, according to the Austin American-Statesmanwhat-is-equalityIn fact, a few of the supporting Republican reps seemed to blame the public response for the bill not passing.  I feel I cannot be the only one who sees the irony in that. Have we reached a time when even our state representatives feel that they know what is best for Texas women better than Texas WOMEN?!?!?! I mean, the public showed up to stay the bill, maybe that means they don’t want the bloody bill passed!!! Comprende?

In both cases liberty, basic rights have been acknowledged, however begrudgingly and it has given me a renewed sense of faith as I try and dig my way out of a pretty dark place in my life.

Now if we could only tackle this whole Paula Deen matter in such an efficient way, this week would be a smashing success for the record books. Accomplishment!” shall be my motto!

Feel free to comment and post your perspectives below. I love dialogue folks! Sharing our perspectives respectively, i.e. communication, is always a great pathway to understanding and acceptance, equality and education.


Advice. Follow. Live

Advice. Follow. Live. Great advice about being secure with oneself! You have to remind yourself that your differences make you unique and beautiful. You can’t compare yourself to others because there should be no comparison. Be yourself!

HTBAW 2: Equal Pay

I wanted to address the definition of feminism but I have been hearing a lot of discussion about equal pay lately and now with the Miss USA Pagent, and Miss Utah’s Q&A portion going viral… well the topic is at the forefront of my mind.

I think the first thing that should be acknowledged is that this year is the 50th anniversary of the passing of the Equal Pay Act. Cheers to that! However, in 1963 when the  act was passed women made 56 cents to every man’s dollar and today women are still only making 77 cents.  One of my favorite jokes is by Bo Burnham in which he says that’s not right, it isnt fair… the man’s only left with 30 cents!

"Mind the Gap" goes feminist.

“Mind the Gap” goes feminist. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

But in all seriousness I have recieved a few responses that women don’t see the issue here. For various reasons, on woman said that she didnt really care about money. “If I can make enough money to support myself, why should it matter whether I make as much as a man?” And I think that is a good question. If you don’t feel like you should care than I guess you shouldn’t. But I would challenge you to think of the message. The message that is sent when a woman with the exact same experience and qualifications is offered less money for a position than a man is that time old standard that WOMEN ARE INFERIOR TO MEN> and in most cases it isn’t true. Why should I spend 30% more of my time working to make the same amount as someone else… I could spend that time doing something else!

Another female friend of mine stated that she thought women have come far enough and that we “shouldn’t be greedy”… I had to hold back my feminist friends from instantly attacking! And I see where she is coming from. Especially when you work in a lower level service job, it is hard to see the payment gap. And I am sorry to say that also comes with a lack of education. And time and time again I hear the same excuse or disclaimer when I ask a question about feminism: “well I havent really learned that much about it…but” or “This is an un-educated opinion…but”

WHY LADIES? Stop thinking that this doesnt concern you because it does. The fact that you are allowed the choice to learn about feminism and make a choice about feminist issues is BECAUSE of feminism. Because of that little right to vote that we take for granted.

I Digress….

Miss utah

Miss utah (Photo credit: beratus)

When it comes to Miss Utah, I think that Powell needs to be given a little bit of slack because she was on national television in front of thousands in a live audience and that shit is SCURRY. And lesbian-est she is not the first pageant girl to mess up a question, and she won’t be the last… However, her winning smile did not hide the fact that she was CLEARLY uneducated on the issue and had no opinion on it. And as a woman I think that is unacceptable. Especially in a world where women are typecast and judged for their looks, the Q&A is the most important part. And that question is something every woman should have an answer to.

If you don’t care about equal pay, if you don’t care about feminism you should know WHY. You should make an informed decision as to why you think that this issue does or does not matter and take the time to learn what feminism IS beyond that of the flannel wearing, man hating stereotype of the “Riot Grrl” movement, that even most strident feminists don’t believe in.

I will post the pageant video below and you can decide for yourself. And while you are in your thinking box, let me know: Do YOU think equal pay still matters. Is it the money or the principal…

Here is the video link. She may have disgraced feminism a tiny bit… as well as proper grammar, but I can’t curl my extensions that way so I think we both have a few things to learn…




Anyone else find the weirdest comments during online dating.

My all time favorite was a strange looking character who messaged me a simple “I’d love to touch you legs.”

Now as a Southern traditional girl, I am more apt to a simple hello, how’s it going, but I must admit, my legs have been a bit chilly since that one got deleted…and blocked.

Check out this blog and/or Share your thoughts!

My body is amazing.

My body is amazing..

Body Image is one of the biggest issues that women and men face. It is something that many never grow out of. When I was nine years old my aunt told me that I had better get a nose job if I was going to be famous, admittedly I have grown a larger head to compensate for my very ethnic nasal cavity, but I have struggled to like my face since then. Yearning for it to look more like my white, mothers with her beautiful hazel eyes and more clearly visible cheekbones.

I stared into my too round eyes that were divided by my thick nose and yearned for the day I could get someone to disfigure my heritage to feel more “pretty.” Some days I still think I will…

But everyday I try to remind myself that this is who I am: Beautiful and unique. Some days I win the battle and some days I lose but I keep fighting to love myself every day.

I will never be white enough or black enough, skinny enough or sexy enough. My boobs are too big my hips too narrow, my ass is big, I have no ass, I have heard it, and much worse BELIEVED it all before…

I am gorgeous and so are you.

#1 What is Feminism to You? (HTBAW)

As my regular readers know, I have been submersing myself in feminism via comedian, writer, journalist, Caitlin Moran and her book “How To Be A Woman”… This week I am attempting to approach the issue of feminism and I have been asking the women and men in my circles about their opinions. More specifically: Are you a feminist, why or why not? What is your personal definition of feminism?

First International Symposium on Chinese Women...

First International Symposium on Chinese Women and Their Network Capital (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I got some very interesting responses and I am going to write about them, but the biggest thing that I noticed is that some people don’t even want to address the issue. There are a lot of women who think that we should be done fighting for equal rights, a lot of women who think that these issues don’t pertain to them, and a lot of women who just haven’t felt the need to be interested or do the research.

Now two important things I have to remind myself, is that I am an overly passionate person. I get really attached to issues and basic rights for all. I took a vow not to get married until gay marriage was legalized and that caused a lot of comments in my family who “don’t understand why it’s my problem.” As someone who has been victim to racial discrimination and gender discrimination and a few other isms… I have a deeply engrained belief in equality. So I promise that I will TRY not to get preachy.

Secondly defining feminism is one of THE hardest terms to describe.  You have to understand how people understand feminism in order to see their perspective. And I hope to help one or two people see that it isn’t the negative and bitter movement that many think.


Salvor-8-mars-2006-dubliners (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So I will be doing this series of blogs and I genuinely hope for lots of comments for and against, whatever your belief! I mainly want to have an open forum for women and men so that maybe we can all get on a common ground. Communication is a powerful thing.

The first thing that I want to address, however, is that I, personally, think that this is an important issue. Even for those who think that the movement of feminism is no longer valuable, there needs to be an acknowledgement that it is part of a woman’s heritage. Our history is a piece of what defines us and shapes the life we are able to lead today, and I take pride in that as a woman.

Feminism needs to be discussed. It is important because equal rights are important and women are not totally equal.

I would like to ask everyone MEN AND WOMEN to answer the following. Are you a feminist? Why or why not? How do you define feminism?  It can be as short or long as you would like. Keep it kind please.

Wasted YOLOs a.k.a. Alanis Morissette Should Have Captured This Irony

Wasted YOLOs a.k.a. Alanis Morissette Should Have Captured This Irony

You Only Live Once! And these girls wasted part of their fleeting youth posting this waste of space… If you only live once can you please go LIVE! And stop waste your life taking pictures and posting it to show people that you’re living… I feel like if you were really so busy living your life than I wouldnt be bothered wiht your social media updates every half hour…. just saying! Do you have any ironic “Yolo” photos or stories?! Share them in the comments!