I have gone through a small amount of time where I lost my voice as a writer. I haven’t been able to finish anything because I just dint think I had anything worthwhile to say. Finding myself in a gray, unhappy place I launched a journey of self-discovery and I found a lot of my unhappiness had to do with identity and femininity.
In the twenty-seven years that I have been shaped and molded on this earth I have fought, clawed, flew, risen high and overcome. However, I still feel as though I am trying to fit in to my own skin. I am launched back and forth between the zones of feeling too much and equally lacking or not enough.
I have two consciousness’ screaming that I am doing too much, taking it too far, I am too serious and also that I am not outgoing enough, trying hard enough, being the best kind of friends. I feel like I have never truly found or claimed my space as a woman in this world. I lack confidence in every aspect of my life and I am beginning to see the toll it is taking on both my goals and relationships. Some days I genuinely just don’t like myself.
I don’t know if other women feel this way, but I desperately desire a path that could lead me to some sort of understanding and acceptance of… me. I want to create a safe space where women can discuss being women: their struggles and triumphs and open ended questions for the universe. I don’t know if anyone will read it or if it will help anyone including myself.
My hope however, is to introduce a series of topics that turn into discussions where women can share their experiences and worries without fear of judgment. Where we can build on shared experiences and trials to become better versions of ourselves.